you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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