im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
