check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
