brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
