I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
