My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I am full of burrito and curiosity
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
