I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize