I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
youre lurking in front of me
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
