I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Mom said you looked used
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
