that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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