I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
