Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
