So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Are we still banned from the library?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
