he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
