Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
