She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
