I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
