he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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