I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
