worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
