you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize