So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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