How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
