OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
