took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
