If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i think im in europe. pls send help
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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