I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
