i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
