I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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