What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
