Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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