i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
