everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
