glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
