I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
