lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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