i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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