Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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