she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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