my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
