But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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