I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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