Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
