only if we run a train.
done.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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