Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
