I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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