you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
