Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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