I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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