Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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