You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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