this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
