I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize