i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
