He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
