Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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