The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she told me i tasted like america
it was like having sex with a tree stump
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
