She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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