yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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