I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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