FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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