I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She is in my trunk
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
