so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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