Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
