I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
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