Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
